8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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