He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
