we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
