Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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