Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
