Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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