Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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