ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
