puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
