i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
