just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
