U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Alive.
So much puke
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
