i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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