He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
