Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
