Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
