i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
