She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
