so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
