Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
