The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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