Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
