think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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