i barfeds in our rink
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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