Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
