im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
