Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
