What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm going to jail i love you
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
