The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
