just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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