her vagine was all disorganized.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
