ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
