Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
