you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
