What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
