i think my tv is drunk
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
