I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
