i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I skipped work to stalk him.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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