3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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