I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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