I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
