cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
