Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
