You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You can't just leave with hair like that
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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