belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
