I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
