I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
