all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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