TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
