I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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